August 29, 2010

Sunday, 11:18 am

My grocery delivery is supposed to be here between 11 and 3. Plus I'm hungry. I haven't been able to stop eating, no, binging, since the psychiatrist put me on Saphris. All I did yesterday was eat and eat and lay down. I already ate 2 Ding-Dongs today, so there are only 4 left.

I'm running the dishwasher again. I ran it on Friday (or yesterday, I don't know) with regular Cascade and there was powder left all over the dishes. Guess it's not a very good dishwasher and I just couldn't tell it with those little packets I use.

Called Sarah yesterday. Complained to her about my depression and this new med. She said she'd send me a 2nd-hand copy of the 1st Harry Potter book.

Got a call from Kathleen. She's still laid up in bed with that knee she fell on, hasn't bothered to call the knee specialist that the dr told her to get in to see ASAP. He's afraid of a blood clot forming from what he said. She knows that's nothing to mess around with! It's like I'm talking to a brick wall! Arrgh!

Can't think of anything else to say. I was all gung-ho about this Artist's Way book but I can't see how it's helping me. I am remembering my dreams more but since they're mostly bad dreams I can't see any good in that.

Tomorrow is Daddy's birthday. Hard to believe how fast time goes.

I'm bothered and mad at myself for spending so much money on eating out.

I'm upset about these facial tremors. My chin, mouth, cheeks, and jaw are all trembling and jerking way more than they were. So much for new medicine that doesn't have that side effect. My teeth are starting to chatter and grind, too.

I just feel lost. I know it's the depression, but that doesn't change my frustration or the emptiness.