Kathleen Marie

Today is my dear cousin's birthday, and she's celebrating it in Heaven for the first time. I've been thinking about her all day, wanting to write something in her honor, not knowing what to say or if I'm strong enough to say it. I have so many funny memories of our times together. She had a fabulous sense of humor.

Kathleen came to visit me once when I was living several states away. It was her first airplane ride, and although she was scared, she enjoyed it. One day we went driving down many country roads so she could see the area and so I could take pictures with my new Pentax camera...I fancy myself a photographer. After a while, she told me we needed to stop for a restroom; she said she'd waited as long as she could. I told her we'd stop at the next available one.

Meanwhile, I continued to find things that I just had to take a photograph of...like a close-up shot of a shed with gray wood planks that had ears of corn showing through the openings. (I still love that photo...wish I knew where it is). And Kathleen said, "I REALLY need a restroom!" And I told her we'd stop at the next available one.

Miles came and went, no civilization. Then I rounded a curve and hit a chicken that was crossing the road. (Yes, I know, but hold the jokes). I immediately stopped in the middle of the road and looked under the car from all sides. Kathleen finally opened her door and said, "I'm sure your car's okay. It was just a chicken." I looked at her in disbelief and said, "I'm not worried about the CAR, I'm worried about the CHICKEN!" She just rolled her eyes and said, "I REALLY REALLY need a restroom!" And I told her we'd stop at the next available one. (There was no sign of the chicken, so I still tell myself that she escaped unharmed).

Then we came up by a farm with a large pig pen right by the road. Kathleen said, "Look at that pig, it's huge!" As I pulled to the side of the road, she said, "Look at that pig pee!" Our jaws dropped as we watched that pig pee. We'd never seen anything like it. And Kathleen said, "Okay, now I REALLY REALLY REALLY need a restroom!" And I told her we'd stop at the next available one. By now it had been over two hours since she had said she'd waited as long as she could.

More miles went by, no civilization. I suggested that she just go in the bushes by the side of the road, like my family used to when we were kids on long driving vacations. Kathleen wouldn't hear of it.

Finally we saw signs of life. I stopped at a popular fast-food restaurant that has clean restrooms. Needless to say, Kathleen went in first while I waited in the hallway. I don't want to be indelicate here, but let's just say that the restroom wasn't very well insulated. I listened in amazement.

When she finally walked out, she shook her head and said, "That pig didn't have nothin' on me!"

Happy birthday, Kathleen Marie! I remember you.