(WARNING: TMI, and I don't care). Yesterday I returned to the clinic for a follow-up mammogram; not unusual for me. The paperwork queried, “Do you have any other concerns about your breasts?” Well, the right one is a lot bigger than the left one. Should I be concerned?
The technician took several new films of both breasts, really strange angles. “Turn to the side to face me. Now throw that arm over there. Inch closer to the machine. Bend at the waist just a little. Now turn just your lower body so your hips and toes are facing to the front. Lift your chin. Now take a breath and hold it. Hold it. Hoooooold it. Now breathe.” Gumby would've been challenged, and I ain't no Gumby. I said, “That's a lot of new views.” She replied, “Well, there's a lot going on in there.” Hmm. There sure hasn't been anything going on out here.
Just when I thought we were through, she said, “Now I'll do enlargements.” Noooooo! I lunged for the door. That was NOT what I had in mind. (Note to self: never “lunge” when your tit's in the ringer.)
Then wait, wait, wait. The doctor ordered an ultrasound of both sides. Again, not that unusual. I watched the computer monitor and chatted with the ultrasound tech. Suddenly, I swear I saw a tadpole go by. There really IS a lot going on in there!
Then wait, wait, wait. The tech returned with the radiology physician. Uh-oh. This can't be good. Sure 'nough, they found something. I'm having a Stereotactic (should I bring ear buds?) biopsy on Wednesday at 12:30 PM. On the left. “Can't you take the tadpole out of the right side, instead?” No.
As I was leaving, I really wasn't thinking all that much about the biopsy. I was envisioning what my right breast might do when that tadpole grows up.
The End. NOW STOP THINKING ABOUT MY BREASTS!
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